A Ritual of Release for Saying Goodbye to a Home

I wrote this for a dear friend who made the tough decision to move from her house on a beautiful lake that was the much beloved, final home of her husband and the place where he died. She wanted a ritual that would honour the love they had shared there, mark his living and his dying there as sacred and release the space into the new family and their life to come. She was accompanied by her son, so there are spaces for two ‘voices.’ The ceremony began with the reading of a favourite poem by e.e. commings.

I Carry Your Heart with Me

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in

my heart) i am never without it (anywhere

i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)


i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want

no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart


i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

Kathleen’s Leave-taking of her and Alan’s home by the Lake

(Begin in the front porch area – looking out over the lake)

C – This home has been blessed, this land has been loved

K – We found this place together and had many years of joy here
Laughed with friends, welcomed family,
Swam, boated and waterskied,
We sat looking out over sunsets, across glasses of wine
Companionship, wit, laughter and love
The glint in your eye,
the beauty of the golden sky becoming night
All these I carry with with me
I carry them in my heart

C – The blessing of this home and this land will remain with us

(Move to the dining or kitchen area)

K – We made a home here
Fed each other more than food
The satisfaction of being truly known
The comfort of being loved as you are
The sweetness of life, the salt of tears
Love overflowing, abundance to share
With children, grandchildren, friends and neighbours
What we shared we created together
A place of celebration, joy and life
I carry all those memories with me
I carry them in my heart

C – We all were nurtured by the life that Alan and Kathleen created together.
The blessings this family shared, gathered around this table, will remain.

(Move to the bedroom)

C – Here is a story of devotion, of courage,
of the transition that is inevitable for all of us.
Here was a good death after a great life
Of a wonderful noble man
Who loved deeply and was loved in return
Who gained children and grandchildren and added them to his tree
Whose life was accomplished, and whose loss was grieved deeply

K- But also a man who understood the life ahead for those who mourn
Who prepared me as much as we can
Who had my back in all I did and still does
Who made me happy and wants me to be happy
Who is not in that bed but with me forever.
I carry your heart. (I carry it in my heart.)

C – Therefore we release this room to life again
Families will break bread here
Children will run here, play here

K – Friends will laugh and tell stories here
Others will love here – It is their turn.
It is life’s turn

C and K – Therefore, we release this home to be joy and growth,
love and family, fun and friendship
to others as it was to us.

May it be filled with as much love
as we have known here.
(both) Amen.