Appendix – Rituals for Love, Loss and Remembrance

You may find this a seemingly odd addition to a website that companions you from death to life again. It contains rituals I’ve written for all sorts of occasions around the loss of someone dear – from a prayer as someone was passing to a solo renewal of vows on a first wedding anniversary alone. I’ve written all of them (and many others) in response to a specific loss, either my own or someone else’s. It’s actually one of the things I love to do in ministry; trying to write something crafted specifically to help bring a moment of healing or understanding at the most difficult moments of people’s lives (and of course I’ve written many for joyous occasions as well!). It’s something I’m willing to continue doing for any of you who might feel the need. But you might also wonder – do they really help?

I can only answer in response that anthropologists and archaeologists believe that ritual pre-dates both language and civilization by many millennia. Evidence of early ceremonies and rituals around death and mourning is abundant and they are not unknown in the animal kingdom, either. It seems that as sentient beings, we have always had an understanding of the finality of death and a desire to somehow mark that transition as sacred, to honour our dead and to comfort ourselves with ceremony and symbol.

It may not initially occur to you to craft or observe rituals around the loss of someone you love, or it may be as natural as breathing, something you do unconsciously every day. Whatever your practice, I hope that this section might inspire you to think about being intentional in making time and space for your grief and its resolution. I truly believe, from my own and from so many others’ experience, that rituals help us with every aspect of loss – with acceptance, with honouring, with healing and ultimately, with returning to the ‘land of the living.’

The 10 rituals to follow are just a sampling of hundreds we might do to help ease the pain of loss. What might you need a ritual to say and do to move you forward along the path to healing? I promise to help you in any way I can. Just write and tell me something about your loss and need and I’ll do my best. Blessings and Love to you all!

Reverend Allison Barrett